


Middle of Nowhere

by CantansAvis



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angsty-ish, F/M, Songfic, short fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-24
Updated: 2013-07-24
Packaged: 2017-12-21 06:15:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/896816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CantansAvis/pseuds/CantansAvis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur's POV in episode 9 of season/series 4: Lancelot du Lac (i.e. when Gwen broke his heart).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Middle of Nowhere

Song: _Big Black Horse and a Cherry Tree_ by KT Tunstall

_*~* "Well my heart knows me better than I know myself/so I'm gonna let it do all the talking." *~*_

" _When the big black horse said look this way, he said hey lady, will you marry me?"_

The all-familiar smell of blackened wick and hot, dripping candle fat tickled Gwen's nose as Arthur led his temporarily-blinded beloved into the room. He smiled in excitement, in anxiety, in pure joy as Gwen's face lit brighter than the candles as she looked at her surroundings.

Arthur would never be able to describe how he felt when she said (well, showed) yes. If you ever asked him in the future, his face would be torn between a sob of pure, heart-wrenching pain and a wide, young grin of a soon-to-be groom. His eyes would be misty, foggy with the smoke of blown-out candles, of a forgotten dream, of a lost love.

* * *

" _My heart had a problem, in the early hours/so it stopped dead for a beat or two."_

Arthur remembered scoffing at his uncle. His Gwen would never betray him...would she? A tiny voice, his father's voice, nagged Arthur from the back of his head. He walked faster.

But he wasn't fast enough. His heart was broken, ripped in half as he let out a scream that can only be described as pure rage, pure sorrow, pure heartbreak.

* * *

" _I fell in fear, upon my back, I said/'Don't look back just keep on walking.'"_

How would he go through his life without Gwen? How could he go through it with her?  
Arthur's head traveled in circles as he circled around the girl with the red-ringed eyes.

_She's crying. She cares for you._   
_She's only crying because she fears for her life._   
_She's just a girl, they cry all the time._

Arthur knew he could not live without Gwen. He also knew he could not kill her. Killing her, would only mean destroying what was left of his heart. He would just be rid of her. He would banish his heart to the middle of nowhere with a big black horse and a cherry tree.

* * *

" _Big black horse and a cherry tree/I can't quite get there 'cause my heart's forsaken me."_

Arthur remembered Merlin's concern and inquisitiveness. Though his servant skills were poor, he was apt in the area of emotions. Though Arthur would never admit it, unless tortured to the brink of death, he loved the boy to bits. Merlin would always be his friend, his brother, his adviser when he felt like it, his protector if he was desperate enough (honestly, the clumsy boy could barely handle himself; how on earth could he handle a sword?).

But why should he be concerned? His heart had never been crushed. If it ever was, Arthur would bet that his poor heart wasn't stabbed by his beloved and her "former" lover.

As for Merlin's questions, that was easy.

He would always love Guinevere. She may love him back.  
But Arthur would always fear for the dagger behind her back.


End file.
